Let me guess. You were doing so well, and then something shifted, and it sent you to the googles, and you landed on this blog.
Here is what I know. When I started going back to my regularly scheduled program, which is just returning to normal activities, things started shifting. I started doing more and feeling worse, and this was probably week six or seven.
It actually sent me on a downward spiral, because I thought I was on the road to healed, and I genuinely believed recovery was linear. This event that took place at week six of my first knee replacement left me with so many questions.
Welcome to the Messy Middle
I recognize now that this was the exact spot where I needed a new perspective. Looking back, I can call it the messy middle, but at the moment it was actually kind of creepy. You are far enough along that the immediate “freak-out” part is behind you, but you are not close enough to being completely healed to feel it. Meanwhile, all of your friends and family are wondering what is wrong with you, because surely you should be healed by now.
This is the emotional crash that can land anywhere between months two and four. Maybe you got frustrated. Maybe you are mad that nobody warned you. For me, honestly, this became a turning point. After a few weeks of feeling like everything was going backwards, it actually got better. And what I learned was this: that backward stretch was not a setback. It was the recovery. It was the process.
The YETTER GETTER Recovery Method and the Learning Space
This is where I started realizing that I could use my mindset to give me the perspective I needed to understand what was happening. I took the term “yet”, and coined it my YETTER GETTER Recovery Method, because that is what carried me through. It helped me understand that this was simply "the learning space."
The learning space is the stretch between where you start and where you end. It is ambiguous, it is large, and I honestly do not know how long it lasts for any one person. I just know that until you feel completely healed, you are in the learning space, the same way I was.
And if you have read this far, you are probably thinking, "Great, Suzie. Now what?" So let me help you process this emotional roller coaster with a reframe for the moments when your emotions are running the show.
Five Steps to Walk Through the Emotional Roller Coaster
- Name what you are feeling — out loud or on paper. Not what you think you should feel, but what you actually feel. Naming it drains its power. I am serious. Give it a try.
- Ask how you feel about how you are feeling — this is the layer most people skip. Ashamed of being frustrated? Angry at yourself for struggling? That second layer is where the real work lives.
- Call someone who gets it — not someone who tells you to be grateful. Someone who will sit in it with you. This one is tricky, because toxic positivity loves to sneak in right here.
- Move your body however you can — a short walk, a few ankle pumps. Movement shifts you out of the stress response. And if you can get outside to do it, you will earn yourself a serotonin boost too.
- Give yourself permission to have a bad moment without making it mean something. One heavy moment is not the whole story. Feeling it and walking through it is the way through.
A lot of us feel like we cannot take the moment, because we do not want to sit in the bad feeling. But the secret sauce is exactly that: sitting in your emotion and walking through it. Sometimes that means parked in front of the TV with ice packs on your leg and a bag of chips. That counts.
Your Emotions Are Part of the Healing
The point is that the emotion will pass, and when it does, the perspective arrives. The problem is when we shame ourselves for feeling the way we do, which is a little crazy when you think about it, because we are human beings having a human experience, and emotions are a huge part of that experience.
People love to vilify emotions and say they get in the way of your healing. The truth is the opposite. Your emotions are part of the healing, because your brain is simply catching up to what your body has been through.
It helps so much to be surrounded by a community of people who have walked this walk and know exactly what you are going through. So please understand this: your emotions are just as important to your healing as the reps you put in at physical therapy.
You Do Not Have to Walk the Messy Middle Alone
If this is the season you are in, come find your people. I would love to welcome you into my Facebook community, Knee Replacement Mindset & Patient Led Support | I Am Titanium, where women who have been exactly where you are are walking this road together.
AFFILIATE DISCLAIMER:
I’m a proud affiliate for some of these tools and products that are suggested on this page and throughout my website. Meaning if you click on a product and make a purchase, I may make a small commission at no extra cost to you. My recommendations are based on knowledge and experience and I recommend them because they are genuinely useful and helpful, not because of the small commission that I may receive.
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